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Date a girl who loves Shrek. Date a girl who spends her money on onions instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many discarded Shrek mascot costumes from the dumpsters behind Universal Studios. Date a girl who has a list of Shrek fanfics she wants to read, who has had Shrek on VHS since she was twelve.

Find a girl who loves Shrek. You’ll know that she does because she will always smell of onions and thick, hot swamp mud. She’s the one lovingly looking over the Dreamworks family movie display at Target, the one who quietly cries out when she catches a glimpse of her green fleshy soulmate. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of William Steig in a secondhand book shop? That’s the ogirl. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are the sacred text from which the Shrek movies were forged.

She’s the girl blasting All Star from her cellphone speakers while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, you can see onion skins— she’s not drinking coffee, just biting into the raw white layers of a sweet Vidalia. Lost in a world of the ogre’s making. Sit down. She might give you a roar, as most girls who love Shrek do not like trespassers in their swamp. Ask her if she likes the big green man.

Buy her another sweet Vidalia.

Rosemarie Urquico

(via littleshrekthings)





if you dont buy this masterpiece when it comes out then dont even bother associating with me

ppl are reblogging this post because its funny im so intense about a pigeon game, but i assure you this game has the best storyline of any game you’ll ever play

all 2000+ of you better be planning to purchase this game

please buy this game it is the best game you will ever play

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